Day 2 - Quarantined

 From Central Hotel Phuntsholing, January 24, 2022

This loss was deeply felt. We had a plan to interview Madam CK this winter and to write some kind of biography about her, a thought that came too late. Later in the day we were connected to a live forecast of the funeral by Madhu, Madam’s grandniece which was also exclusively shared for her nephews and niece in Kathmandu and Darjeeling. Included in this close virtual group. This has to pass and life has to move on – that is the key lesson that we have always learned from such incidences.

In the evening, Tulasa started reading a book by Dr Byanjana Sharma (Bhattarai), Gham Astayeko hoina (The Sun is not Set) and occasionally would read out lines from the book, which was a memoir of a mother who demised back home in Nepal when the author, the youngest daughter, was a student in Australia and was unable to join the last rites. Author had a daily diary written expressing her feelings for her mother and how finally this helped her come out of this melancholy. She has described a theory developed by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross which suggests that we go through five distinct stages of grief after the loss of a loved one: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance (https://www.everydayhealth.com/emotional-health/5-stages-dealing-with-grief-sorrow/). This is a very practical lesson for everyone since none is spared from such tragedies at some point in time in our lives.

Well, Madam CK was not biological mother of Tulasa and this may be seen by some as a bit of over-reaction. But often your emotional bonds with a person defines your relationship with the person and not only a family connection or a blood relation. The reality is that we are now in a quarantine and have no other option but to mourn from here as we can’t visit the family even though it is just about two hours drive from here.

Just a day before on the 22^nd January, one of the greatest Buddhist Zen master and peace activist, Thich Nhat Hanh had died at the age of 95 in Vietnam. Tulasa had enjoyed reading his “Old Path White Clouds” some years ago. She would keep mentioning about the practical and universal ideas about life, living and death detailed out in the book which is a recount of the life and teachings of Gautama Buddha over the course of eighty years. The book speaks through the eyes of Svasti, the buffalo boy who provided kusa grass for the Buddha's enlightenment cushion, and the Buddha himself. This popular book was given to Tulasa by a young man Yeshi Dorji who incidentally died suddenly before she could even return the book to him. The book remains with us even now.

Two days later on 25 January, Dodrupchen Rinpoche, one of the most prominent contemporary masters in the Nyingma and Dzogchen traditions of Tibetan Buddhism, passed into parinirvana. No one including these spiritual personalities who have worked to bring world peace and taught us about the cycles of birth and death can escape death. Some random statistics says that nearly 163,000 people die every day which is about 114 per minute and almost 2 per second!! So what is so frightening or sorrowful about death? We also know that the world birth rate is almost the double the death rate. That is why the global population is always on the rise. Life has to go on is the key answer to all the sad feelings!

Second day of quarantine for us here in Phuntsholing is pretty pleasant. It is sunny and seems warm outside. The streets are empty except for some pigeons flying freely around. Occasionally you see some stray dogs running aimlessly and chasing each other. On the other side of the road there is a row of 3-4 story buildings mostly looking brown from outside. These are beaten hard by summer heat and heavy downpour this place is known to receive. An old Ama is seen walking to and fro a narrow and short verandah with her prayer beads on her hands. From one end of her verandah she will be able to see the Lhakhang just about 50 meters away inside the park. She would look up at the temple with folded hands once a while. On the next building I see a middle-aged man making swift strolls within his short porch for over an hour. Few people are seen coming out on the street masked up with ‘movement pass’ on their hands and small bags with essential stuff.

People are mostly out to get some basic supplies from few stores that are open at this time. There are just two shops open on this side of the road from what is visible from my windows – a medical shop and a dairy. People enter into these and get some stuff and return. These stores seem to be doing some brisk business during the lockdown.